Time heals all wounds

Today, I thought about them and for the first time in five years, I felt not even a hint of anger. And then I thought about those even further back days, and finally, peace. I have always known of the phrase, "time heals all wounds". But I always wondered, when will my time come? Recovering from a loss of faith does not occur just because of the smile on your face or the happy words you speak. Hurt exists even in the tiniest tightening of your chest when a bad memory surfaces. It exists when you feel, even for the smallest momentary second, the rage of boiled blood. Maybe a heart is only capable of harboring so much anger. Maybe, when more important, or rather, more recent events come, we have no choice but to push the older ones out. But I don't think that to be true. I think we have an infinite ability to harbor much emotion, sometimes even more than we expect or anticipate.

Even when we consciously know that something, or someone, will continue to hurt us, we can't let it go. We choose to go down the path which hurts us. Or maybe we want to stop walking but we just can't. Because unlike books or exams or machines, so many things are beyond reason, beyond logic, and perhaps it takes something much more than conscious choice. I guess time and faith fit somewhere into this equation though how exactly I do not know. Maybe in the end, all we can control is conscious choice and perhaps if we say it enough, it would become truth, not only for ourselves but for the world as well.

Now I choose to believe that as much as we are capable of holding an infinite amount of hate, we are also capable of holding a greater infinite amount of love. And I know that whatever sense of doubt, loss or anger I may feel towards certain distinguished people right now, will dissipate with time. I will no longer will it to disappear with might but trust that nature and time will do what they were always meant to do, what they do best. I know more surely now that I can be a rock for myself and that I can pick myself up from anything that comes. And that there will always be friends whom you can trust and whom will support you.

So to those who are feeling any sort of negative emotion right now, anger, hate, betrayal, failure, stress, sadness, loss, doubt, fear, confusion and helplessness, don't despair. Know this. I am okay. It will be okay. And I will be okay.