When the working honeymoon phase ends.

I think working life is abit of a cultural shock to me. During my 1st month, it was the honeymoon phase. Everything was new, exciting and fun. Everyday was a new discovery and I couldn't wait to jump in. So many things to learn, so many opportunities. The future seemed like it was mine to take hold of and anything was possible.

Even though majority of those positive feelings remain, I'm starting to identify the not so pleasant sides of working, the least of which being the long weekdays and short weekends. I don't know but it seems to me that the friendships we build at work are so fleeting. Perhaps they cannot even be considered friendships because in just a moment, anything can happen. Besides, aren't we supposed to have stronger ties, like family, spouses and friends, outside work?

So frequently, I'm reminded that you're supposed to be (constantly) thinking of your career progression and where you want to go next. You're supposed to be making an impression and expanding your network. You're supposed to be looking out for yourself and portraying the best picture possible so that you can get promoted and head hunted. With so much maneuvering to do, it really makes me wonder how much time certain people actually spend, well, working.

On another note, I've recently come to know a certain someone who is blessed with a silver tongue. Anything this persons says just sounds so convincing that at the end of the conversation, you just might be convinced that the world was flat. If only for that few moments. Initially, I really admired this person and hope to become likewise. To be so eloquent and above all, so confident of one's self. I wish however, that this person would have more integrity and admit to a mistake when it happens. Unfortunately, when push comes to shove, the non bullshitters will always lose out.

I guess it is definitely a challenge to become someone who speaks well, works well and above all, politics well. But I want to retain some sort of integrity in this learning process and not lose myself to this competitive world. As an advocate of virtue ethics, I believe that if a person acts consistently in a certain way, it is a general reflection of that person's true character. We're supposed to be good first, then we would act in a good way. Well, generally. But what if we're bad (for a lack of a better word)? Is there no hope then? How can one inculcate virtue in one's self? Maybe developing virtue works the other way round too. Maybe we have to force ourselves to act with integrity if we're not already there. Maybe doing something good consistently will somehow sink into ourselves that wanted inner morality. So much so that after some time, who knows how long, it becomes part of our inner character.